“Everything changes and ends,”
is the first of the five things we cannot change. Acceptance (remember the serenity prayer) of the five things we cannot change is implied in the word embracing. Everything changes and ends, is the first of the five things we need to accept and embrace. For the sake of definition let us look at the opposite! Nothing ever changes and things go on and on and on!
Of course that seems ridiculous. Yet we resist change and often times we wish things were like the “good ol’ days.” We wish that certain facts of life would never come to an end. Like our favorite television show, or a furniture store where we bought our first sofa, or a product at the grocery store discontinued due to a lack of demand.
All and any of these types of events annoy us or make us demanding and entitled. “Back-in-the-day” is a figure of speech that links us to what was positive and/or meaningful in our lives. Yet we cling to these events and “should” on today or the present moment. What is implied is, “Today would be better if it was like the past.” Again, this comparing spoils our present moments. The now is corrupted with our expectations and desires.
Dr. David Richo states, “Although everything changes and ends, things renew themselves and move through cycles that further evolution.” We resist change and we become anxious partly because we are attached to a behavior or lifestyle that no longer serves us well. In my practice as a counselor, the healthiest and most resilient patients are the ones who are willing and open (flexible) to examine old beliefs and insert new ones that serve them better.
Ultimately, it is our ability to adapt and accept change that allows us to be mentally and emotionally healthy. Rigidity is the opposite of flexibility. Rigidity is synonymous with stubborn and stuck. Acceptance is not resignation it is surrendering to the noble truth that nothing lasts forever on this earth except Love.
From John 14; v. 1-3: “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”
This quote from Jesus implies heaven as a place of many rooms. Many rooms can be construed as options or choice. Do not allow a troubled heart to impair your ability to choose. Serenity and acceptance quiets a troubled heart. We are more resilient when we allow changes (happenings) to end an era (time-of-our-life) or a relationship or loss. Mindfulness and connection will bring us the comfort and support we crave; to move on, get through and let go.